Viral Video Marketing

Dan Ackerman Greenberg , of the The Comotion Group posted an interesting guest blog on TechCrunch a while ago on how to make your video go viral. Although some of his recommendations are a little too nefarious for my tastes, I do plan to implement some of the more direct approaches into my promotion of the RedX expired listing and FSBO lead generation system for real estate agents.

Overall, Ackerman claims to be successful in turning a video viral in just a few days, and shoots for at least 50,000 downloads. His techniques are as follows:
“Content is NOT King”

• Make it short: 15-30 seconds is ideal; break down long stories into bite-sized clips


• Design for remixing: create a video that is simple enough to be remixed over and over again by others. Ex: “Dramatic Hamster”


• Don’t make an outright ad: if a video feels like an ad, viewers won’t share it unless it’s really amazing. Ex: Sony Bravia


• Make it shocking: give a viewer no choice but to investigate further. Ex: “UFO Haiti”


• Use attention-grabbing headlines: make the viewer say, “Holy xxxx, did that actually happen?!” Ex: “Stolen Nascar”


• Appeal to sex: if all else fails, hire the most attractive women available to be in the video. Ex: “Yoga 4 Dudes” "

Title Optimization
Post the video with a title that will grab attention and periodically change it if you are not getting enough traction.

Thumbnail Optimization
YouTube grabs the thumbnail from the middle of the video. Try to make the thumbnail contain a face, preferably a pretty female.

Commenting: Having a conversation with your circle
Make sure that all of your friends and colleagues are aware of the video and have a chance to comment, post. Ask them not to hold back on their opinions, a heated dialog creates attention.

Releasing all videos simultaneously
If you have a campaign, why make people wait to see the next installment?

Tag Strategically
I did not realize this, but YouTube uses the tags that you use to describe your video to populate the related content video block. If you have multiple videos, you can choose and obscure tag to make sure that all of your videos pop up when one is being viewed.

Metrics and Tracking
Dan recommended TubeMogul and VidMetrix both have the ability to submit your video to multiple online video networks with just one submission, and both have decent traffic tracking. TubeMogul seems to track with a couple more networks, but both are great tools.

Dan received a lot of negative feedback regarding his post, and has a much better description of his intention which he posted on his follow-up. Both the original post and the follow up are worth a read. Regardless, when the video marketing component of our RedX promotion comes online, I will be working to make the content viral.

TAGS: Redx, Dan Ackerman Greenberg, TechCrunch, Viral Video Marketing, Most Viewed YouTube, secrets of viral marketing, 20 million clicks, clandestine marketing

Great Post From Joes Journal About Prospecting Expireds

I found a great blog from Joes Journal this evening that shares some great approaches to overcoming common objections from potential real estate clients. I have excerpted his approach to using expired listing leads below. He details a complete system on how to effectively prospect expired listing leads for real estate on his marketing system blog

“What an expired listing client says:

This is just not a good time to sell my home because of the current market conditions.

What a skilled consultant would say:

Mr. and Mrs. Client, you sound very certain that the market conditions are not
right to sell your home. May I ask what is your source for that data and how
reliable has that source been for you in the past?

Here are several mindful questions you might ask a person whose listing has
expired.

• What do you suppose will happen if you choose not to sell your home now?
  


• If you do put your home back on the market with the same agent, what do you suppose will be the result of that choice?


• Because marketing, conditions and price positioning are the three reasons a homes sells or does not sell, what do you imagine you will do differently when you re-list your home?


• Imagine if you could create the perfect scenario – what would it look like, sound like and feel like for you?


• How can you use what you have learned in the last six months to improve the chances of selling your home the next time you re-list?


• Given what you have learned, what is the most obvious change you would make first, the next time you re-list your home?


• As you think about whom you will re-list your home with, what are some things that will be important to you in your next relationship with an agent?
  


• How do you know the characteristics you’re looking for in an agent are the right ones to achieve your goals?

What is Reframing?
When reframing a belief or idea, it is important to change the context so the listener has more choices and options regarding how to look at things. It’s like using a different lens to get a wider perspective on the picture before you.

Reframing Client Objections

You should anticipate client objections. Below are different ways you can reframe a client’s objections using dialogues containing magic words and mindful questions.

Client Objection: This is not the right time to sell a home.


We want to wait until prices go up!

Example #1
YOU: Are you saying in general it is not the right time to sell a home or are you saying it’s not the right time to sell your home?

CLIENT: I’m saying the market is slow; it is not a good time for anyone to sell.

YOU: Well, it’s more accurate to say that people who are clearly focused on what is important about selling will be successful in selling a home in today’s market. May I ask you what is important about selling your home to you?

(Now go seven levels deep.)

Client Objection: This is not the right time to sell a home. We want to wait until prices go up!

Example #2
YOU: That could be true for some people without certain goals. Now for those who have a goal like your five, six, and seven, this may be the perfect time to go for it.

Example #3
YOU: Every coin has two sides to it. For example, in the price range of $250,000, prices have dropped about 10 percent and in the $400,000 range, they have dropped 10 percent. So now, when you sell your $250,000 home you get $25,000 less but when you buy the $400,000 house you pay $40,000 less, so that is a net gain of $15,000.

Example #4
YOU: If I said that it is a good time to go for your five, six, and seven, and if I could show you that in the last 60 days, 49 people within five square miles of your home have sold their home, would that mean I’m lying to you?

Specifically, what proof would you need to know that your thoughts that you can’t sell right now are just not true and it is the right time for you to go for your five, six, and seven?

Example #5
YOU: Wow, you sound so confident in your information! Did you actually try to sell your home within the last 60 days to arrive at that conclusion, or are you repeating something you heard from the TV, newspaper or a neighbor?

Example #6
YOU: Well, if you really want to know who should not be selling their home, it’s the people who are either not serious about moving or the ones who owe more on it than it’s worth. Which category do you fit into?

Example #7
YOU: So, are you saying that every seller who is listed now should just quit and take it off the market?

Example #8
YOU: I know the current market situation really seems like a big deal today…and maybe that’s the problem. Just for the fun of it, imagine you and your family twenty years down the road. You look back to this day when you had the opportunity to sell your house and make your next investment. Within this context is the current market situation the most important factor in making your decision to re-list now?

Example #9
YOU: I know you believe that this is not the right time to sell your home, but not everybody thinks this way. Many homeowners in your neighborhood have benefited from my skills as a consultant, negotiator, and overseer of transactional details during their home sale -- especially now. Why don’t you call this number and listen to what your neighbors have to say about selling their home under these market conditions?

Here is another example of an objection you may hear from a prospective client with several ways to reframe their perspective using magic words and mindful questions.

Client: Will you cut your commission or reduce your fees?

Example # 1
YOU: That is a good question. And before I could make that big of a decision, I would have to ask you a few thought-provoking questions, listen intently to your answers, and only after I clearly know what is important about selling to you, could I then better suggest how you can compensate me for my consulting, negotiating, and organizing of the details.

Example # 2
YOU: That is an interesting question. What it means to me is that you don’t think my skills of consulting, negotiating and organizing of all the transactional details are worth what I would charge you to make your five, six, and seven come true.

Example # 3
YOU: Mr. and Mrs. Seller, my goal is to make your five, six, and seven come true. Since we haven’t worked together before, how did you determine that my skills as a consultant, negotiator, and organizer of the transactional details are not worth making your making your five, six, and seven come true?

Example # 4
YOU: Your question reveals what you may not know about this current marketplace. What you really should be asking is ‘what bonus can we offer to get local agents more interested in showing my home to their best clients’. That way, we can make certain your five, six, and seven come true?

Example # 5
YOU: I’m glad you brought that up because it seems you really do care about getting the proper value from the services I offer. So I’m wondering, for what I’m asking you to compensate me, how much value do you want from me for making your five, six, and seven come true?”

Four more ways to attract real estate buyers in this down market

I have posted the new rules of real estate survival a couple of times in this blog, and the basic rule is to secure as many listings as possible. However, I have not yet touched on the demand side of the equation. Sure, if you prospect effectively for expired listings you will have a selection of properties to offer the new demanding client, but where do you find that New Demanding Client?

1) Opportunistic investors: Although many feel that we have not yet hit bottom, the investment market is starting heat up again. Many real estate investors (including me) are looking for that next great deal, foreclosure, or short sale. For real estate agents that can help investors with the minutia of buying a property with less than full equity, there may still be business to be had. Consider marketing your services and expertise to the investment market, either for direct real estate services, or even consultation and guidance.

2) Movers looking for a deal: It is true that it is now a buyers market, but that does not mean that there are no more buyers. The truth is that in contrast to three years ago, buyers today have their choice of what to buy and who to buy it through. To capture the attention of these clients, position yourself as an aggressive savings manager with expertise in helping buyers get the best possible deal and the home of their dreams. As for attracting these clients, place ads, co-op market with your local coffee shop, fitness club and small businesses, and host how to buy foreclosure webinars and seminars.

3) Business relocation: If you haven’t explored the opportunities with relocation specialists that service the companies in your area, now may be the time to strike up a conversation. The internet, yellow pages, or HR department of your closest multinational may be able to connect you with the right people.

4) REO Specialist: Both on the buying and selling side, the agents that deal with the banks have a ready-made inventory on discountable properties. Loss mitigation departments may be able to help you out with a listing or two. Also, if you are familiar with the requirements of the banks to purchase REO, you can position yourself as a specialist for both the investor and the movers looking for a deal.

Finally, don’t forget about the 30% discount on Expireds from RedX.

30% Off Expired Listing Leads, and a Few Marketing Ideas

My friends over at the RedX Expired Listing Lead Service have been doing a great job in some recent marketing endeavors, and I think I can leverage their activities to share some quick recommendations on how to better attract survival listings in this challenging market. Some of the ideas will translate to direct marketing, but a few may not. However, I thought I would list them out.

1) Discounted service (in this case 30%) in exchange for a larger commitment.
More and more we hear clients asking for a discounted commission in exchange for your dedication and hard work. If you are negotiating a discount in commission, get a bigger commitment for up-front expenses. If the client is taking your money on the back end, let them pay up-front for some of the marketing expenses.

2) If you are promoting yourself online, go where the traffic is.
I posted this on my Realtor Leads Blog, but if you see a politician making commentary on the recent sub-prime meltdown, comment on their site and be sure to include backlinks. They get plenty of traffic and may even improve you page rank.

3) Use multiple media.
If you don’t have a YouTube channel, a MySpace page and a presence on Facebook, it is time to register. Once again, be where your clients can find you.

4) Touch a prospect or partner many times.
RedX sent me a promotional flyer and sales PowerPoint to me today detailing their products and reiterating their promotion. This is part of a larger touch system where every time I take the time to touch them (call, respond to an email, click on a promotion) I receive one or two additional touches with appropriate calls to action. A REALTOR analog would be presenting to a local business group, getting the contact information for all of the attendees and sending out thank you cards with a referral request. Follow that up with an email reminding them of the specific takeaways of your presentation and an additional offer to do business.

5) Add a call to action on your email.
What’s the difference between an email signature that says “Barrett Niehus, REALTOR” and a signature that says “Barrett Niehus, REALTOR, Learn how I can save you $10,000.” A call to action can do a lot for a communication.

Viral Idea and A Deal on Real Estate Leads

It occurs to me that next year is an election year and almost every candidate is trying to leverage the internet to gain attention and push their political platform. Most of the tools that they are using leverage Web 2.0 social technology which means there are plenty of high traffic areas to post. If I were me, which I am…. I would start posting comments around the candidates blogs. The sites likely rank high on the search engines, they have tons of traffic, and backlinks from these sites just might be useful.

On a completely separate note, RedX has authorized a 30% discount off of their expired listing real estate lead service through the end of the month. This is a huge offer to save money and have those all important listings flowing through your door.

Leads, Listings and New Activities

My friends at RedX are busy for the holidays and they have sent some great tools to help educate REALTORS about how to attract clients and listings through the RedX expired listing lead service. Personally, I am glad that they now include FSBO listings as a component of their service because it does expand the pool of potential new clients. After all, in today's market, you need as many active listings as possible, just to survive.
On the viral marketing front, I am implementing a number of touch programs to hit contacts multiple times through multiple media. For example, I am in the process of setting up auto-responders so that those REALTORS that attend a webinar receive three follow up communications with additional information, discounts and calls to action. I am going to start fully leveraging the signature function of my email with an active call to action, as well as begin posting educational videos on the 4MySales section of YouTube. Finally, the webinars themselves are going to be better utilized to educate real estate agents about how to attract leads and convert them to listings.

Back Online and Expired Listing Leads

I received a call today from the expired lead listing company that I have been working with for some time. They offered me a great promotion to share with all of the readers of this blog; a complete waiver of the $150 startup fee for anybody that signs up through this link: http://www.theredx.com/signup/4mysales.html Not a bad offer considering that the only way to survive right now as a Realtor is to attract as many listings as possible.

I’ll talk about viral marketing at a later date. I gave a seminar this evening and used the YouTube video entitled “Cool Wedding Dance” that is making the rounds on the mainstream media (Today Show, daily news, CN?N, etc.) Either way, there is a big world of marketing out there to explore…..

Marry Spenders and Sellers for a Viral Response

I can across this promotion this morning and I think it has the potential to be a great idea with a little additional directed promotion. The idea is the “Damn Receipt Project” and essentially it is an attempt to create a link between people who have receipts in their pocket and advertisers that want to target their specific brand to the owners of those receipts. The concept as described in the Damn Receipt Blog is

“Damn Receipt is a brand new original and buzzy project where advertisers from
all horizons catch attention and promote themselves by refunding people's
shopping receipts (rather than spending large amounts in impersonal
advertising)!”

The creator of this project is trying to create a link between advertisers and those individuals who have receipts in their pockets (it doesn’t mention what types of receipts.) The concept is that the advertisers will reimburse the receipt owners the amount on the receipt in a direct marketing approach instead of spending their cash on mass media.

There are a number of holes in the idea, specifically because it does not specify the types of receipts, and therefore provides no targeted demographic for the prospective marketing company’s advertising spend. However, overall, it could be a great campaign idea for individuals or companies that want to really target their prospective clients.

So how would you adopt this idea for your own use?

There are three components that I would put into place before launching this type of campaign.

1) Identify and create a cooperative marketing partnership with a company that wants to use this type of marketing. It may be difficult to get a national chain to participate, but you could get local businesses to participate and take the campaign online and offline. To save on the ad spend, arrange the promotion so that one receipt per day will be selected for reimbursement.

2) Identify exactly what type of client you are looking for and what receipts they are likely to have. Reimburse only those and spell that out explicitly in your campaign materials; once again, online and off-line.

3) Launch the campaign both online and off-line by letting local media and press know. Co-opt with your marketing partner to print cards, flyers and collateral. Announce the campaign in your local and online newspapers, and let some local bloggers know about the campaign. When you launch, go off with a rocket using multiple promotional mediums.

Finally, before you begin on this type of promotion, make sure that you explicitly spell out the rules of the promotion and have written agreement with your marketing partner.

TAGS: WOM, buzzy, co-operative marketing, damn receipt, word of mouth, promotional campaign, promotional idea, online newspaper advertising, local wom

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Be Everywhere For Word of Mouth

As a little experiment this afternoon, I googled 4MySales to see where the site and this blog were popping up. The search returned what I expected, about 22,000 references, but it also provided a unique insight into where to leverage your highest potential online. In addition to this blog and associated website, the highest ranking google returns were for the multitude of online social networks where 4MySales has registered.

The top returned searches for 4mysales were:
4MySales - MyBlogLog
digg / 4MySales / news / dugg
4mysales · 2k Bloggers - The Face of the Blogosphere (a blog of ...
4mysales's Participation » Netscape.com
4MySales Real Estate Agent Success - Feeds - Netvibes ecosystem ...
Barrett Niehus (4MySales and Expired Listing Leads) - Real Estate ...
4MySales REALTOR Marketing Blog
User:4MySales - InmanWiki

So what does this mean? Essentially, it means that as you work on promoting your blog and expanding your presence online, register for all of the online social networks that you can. After registration, identity those that naturally rise to the top of the search engines and spend your time syndicating content on those sites. Social networks are generally very search engine friendly, and in addition to creating social links (and traffic) within the community, you increase your search engine visibility.

TAGS: viral, wom, seo, online social networks, real estate references, viral traffic, returned search

Differentiate Your Closing Gift

Instead of giving your clients the same old “just moved” or “our new home” change of address cards, why not create a photo-collage (photomoasic) of their new home made up of pictures of the new residents, the various rooms of their home, as well as your picture, logo, and offices? The photomosaic can be embedded into your standard change of address post card, or if you are feeling unique, you can have a copy of it framed as a personalized closing gift for your clients. Personally, I would recommend you do both.

So how do you create a photomosaic closing gift? Actually, it is really easy. Purchase of download a dedicated photomosaic software. (Here is a list of them) and when you are ready, take a picture of the property in question (preferably with the new residents posing in front) and a number of other “family” pictures of the house and the new residents in it. Apply all of these photos to the software and send the output to a professional printer for conversion into postcards and farmable art.

As a follow-on, email your client a copy of the graphic with a thank you note. They will likely send it to their friends and family. Separately, ask if you can do it for them and get a list of email and mailing addresses. This is a great tool for referral marketing.

TAGS: photomosaic, photo collage, closing gift, referral tool, referral marketing, list of photomosaic software, just moved postcards, change of address cards, framed closing gift, unique closing gift

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A Little Fun with Photomosaics

Here's a fun little site where you can take your picture, apply a number of flickr photos to it and turn it into a photomosaic.

TAGS: Flickr, mozaiq

Viral Marketing and Making Use of Recent Media

I’m still gathering data for the Viral Book Project, but as I continue to surf, I come across more and more great sites that catalog different viral marketing techniques. One of the most recent is a site called the Adverblog which reviews a number of cool commercial viral campaigns.

So as I was perusing through the list of interesting viral marketing campaigns that the bigger corporations are launching; (check out the BMW promotion) it occurred to me that you can garner a lot of traffic by attaching your message to these other promotions. Now I’m not advocating literally attaching your URL to any of the forwards that you receive; although that in itself is an interesting idea. I am however advocating spoofing current media, and actively participating in online conversations about a campaign at the root of the campaign by leaving comments on the blogs that are sponsored by the company.

Here’s my idea for the day….
Aleve has just launched a viral marketing campaign using a number of Web 2.0 tools. Leave comments on each of the tools about the campaign. Do the same thing for the recent Viragra and Transformer campaigns.

Choose a hot local topic for the week, (for my area, the Orange County courts are having all of their traffic tickets processed in a small office in Mexico and there is no end to the discussion about identity theft and security risks to blog about.) Blog about the topic, post reader polls and create a widget or badge to express your opinion that like-mined visitors can also display. Also, express your opinion in the comments sections of the local online newspapers.

TAGS: viral, orange county mexico, widget, badge, viral idea, local newspapers, transformers, bmw campaign, Adverblog, viral opinion, online campaign

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A Little Friday Afternoon Fun

It’s Friday and I have reading about viral promotion all week. I’m a little burned out and it is time for a distraction. Therefore, it is time for a Friday afternoon meme with a twist; it’s all about your peers and online activity. Instead of tagging bloggers, the tags are part of the meme. The rules are simply that if you get tagged by the meme, complete the questions with one word answers on your own blog. For an added level of interest, hyperlink each of your answers.

The questions are:

What blog do you read most? Bloodhound

What’s your best source of online news? Digg

Which blogger do you ping most often? Tomato

Which blogger would you like to be? Seth

Which blog do you look to for inspiration? RSS

What’s your favorite online network? ActiveRain

What’s your favorite widget? Mybloglog

What’s your middle name? Alan

Who do you “see” online most often? Brian Brady

Who do your friends talk about? Zillow

Where do you post your tags most often? Technorati

Your favorite blog software? Wordpress

The blog software that you started with? Blogger

What is your first daily read? Mashable

What Web 2.0 tool are you least impressed with? Twitter

When do you blog? Day

What’s your industry? Marketing

Last book you read: Thunderstruck

What do you do when you are not blogging? Sail

Looking for a Few Good Viral Marketing Ideas

Collection of Viral Articles

Still working on finding applicable ideas for great viral marketing campaigns. In this search, I did come across a great list of viral articles and ideas at Wilson Web. The article catalogs 105 viral marketing articles and data from some of the great online marketers. I’ll be doing some reading this evening to find some great suggestions.

On a completely unrelated note, you can now view the 150 top marketing blogs at Todd And’s blog. If you are looking to learn about online marketing, the top 150 is a good place to start. I’m going to overwhelm my feed reader.

Tags: Todd and, top 150, Advertising Age, viral campaign, Wilson web, vox

Five Components of Word of Mouth Marketing

The Five Steps in Word of Mouth Marketing

In my search to find some great new content for the Viral Book Project (keep submitting ideas to me, I need more contributing authors) I came across Andy Sernovitz book

Word of Mouth Marketing which, just happens to be on the very topic that I am creating this e-book about. Anyway, there is a lot that you can learn about going viral from Andy’s book, but it amazed me that his Five Steps for a Word of Mouth program was reprinted in the blog space everywhere. I’m not usually a lemming, but some content deserves to be repeated. Here are the steps; taken from an article by Andy on Marketing Profs:

1. Talkers: People who are more likely to relay your word of mouth message

2. Topics: Portable concepts for people to talk about, simple ideas that are word-of-mouth friendly

3. Tools: Techniques and technology that make it easier for word of mouth conversations to take place

4. Taking part: Participating in the word of mouth conversation and engaging in a genuine two-way dialog

5. Tracking: Measuring the online conversation

TAGS: WOM, Andy Sernovitz, five steps word of mouth, mouth of word, topics, tools, taking part, tracking, talkers, evangelists, e-book, viral book, project

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A Few Viral Marketing Ideas

This is just a short list of different ideas to create a viral buzz. Let me know if you have others that I could include in the Viral Book Project.

Ideas for YouTube Videos

• Drunk Lindsey Lohan trying to find a REALTOR to purchase the rehab facility
• Create a video that shows listing clients receiving their checks over and over. Nothing is more enviable than watching people receive checks for $400,000.
• A video collection of exploding buildings is always fun.

Flickr Viral Photo Ideas

• Pictures that have hidden messages for viewers to locate: Find the word (fill in the blank) in nature… Does that cloud say REALTOR?
• Submit your picture with my name written on your body part. The submitter with the most pictures wins an I-Phone.
• How about a collection of cars falling off of cliffs?
• I was forwarded a collage of poorly placed billboards recently that I had to forward to friends; the leader was a Big Mack advertisement right under a stop childhood obesity sign.

If you have ideas on different viral tools or campaigns, please let me known.

TAGS: viral ideas, viral marketing, viral campaign, youtube viral, flickr viral, Lindsey Lohan, I-phone giveaway, viral book, viral blogging

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Viral Book Project

So here’s the deal. Every time I search for great ideas on different viral marketing campaigns, I come up with the same old, create a video, comment on blogs, and create your own posts. Well, there has to be more out there and I am going to find it. Therefore, I am pleased to announce the viral book project.

Essentially, my goal is to get input from the best bloggers on the net on the best and hopefully easiest viral campaigns for you to create yourself. I plan to work with these great Web 2.0 thinkers to create an e-book that anybody can download as a source guide to crease effective viral marketing campaigns that drive traffic and increase notoriety.

Here’s what I am asking of you. If you have an idea, write it in your own blog and let me know where to find it by commenting on this blog I will link to the article on this blog and capture the article in the e-book. I may summarize parts of it on this blog as well. After I get fifty or more of the best viral marketing ideas and articles, I will aggregate them into an e-book which will contain the original articles, links back to the original authors and credit to that author.

After the ebook is complete, I will distribute a copy to all of the contributing authors so that they may distribute the book however they see fit.

The way I see it, there are a lot of general viral marketing ideas out there, but not much that is specific enough to be effective. Let’s create a tool that teaches the most effective techniques that will in itself be viral.

Submit comments to this blog linking back to your viral suggestions and I’ll do the rest.

TAGS: viral, marketing, web 2.0, viral blog project, e-book, marketing ebook, bloglog, blogger, viral project, wom, word of mouth

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Ten Ways to Piss Off You Readers, Kill Your Blog, and Get Banned From the Internet!

Everywhere I look there is blogging advice on how to increase your traffic, pagerank, and readership on the net. There’s syndication, RSS feeds, and any type of social topic you would ever need. However, nobody tells you how to stop the traffic, alienate your fan base; so I thought I should try.

1. Active in blogging? Why not put as many popups on your page as humanly possible? Make it as difficult as possible for a reader to navigate away from your page and ensure that he will never come back! If you are not comfortable with popups, AdSense ads after every post and every type of widget that you can find will do the trick.

2. Too many comments? Turn them off, don’t respond when they are posted, and return fire with fire. People like to feel engaged when they read your content. Don’t let ‘em!

3. Got an RSS feed? Get rid of it, or better yet, find a blog that you absolutely hate and offer it as the feed through your site. It all looks like XML code until you plug it into a reader anyway. Your readers won’t know what hit them.

4. You have a bookmarking widget; Digg, del.icio.us, News Vine, Reddit? Aren’t there equivalent bookmarking tools for adult sites? Couldn’t you use the same graphic and just replace the hyperlink? Hmmm, if you want to get some hate mail, this may be the way to do it. When responding to the hate mail, please refer to item 2 above.

5. Member of MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, Xanga, LinkedIn, MyBloglog and other networks that syndicate your content? This one’s easy, don’t complete your profile, syndicate content that is not yours, be un-genuine, and do not respond to comments. We keep going back to step 2 for some reason.

6. Overload your readers with useless bookmarks. Stop writing content and go hog wild with your Sumble Upon and del.icio.us bookmarking Wordpress widgets. Nobody likes going to a blog that has nothing other than a collection of non-related bookmarks. No content, just bookmarks; nothing slows down traffic like a great link farm.

7. DUMP THE TAGS!!!! Nobody will read your blog if nobody can find it. If you have a search term that inadvertently shows up under a Google search, repeat it in the text as many times as possible. A black-hat trick or two will also work to get you banned from Google.

8. All text and no pictures makes for a very boring and unpleasant blog. Pictures are worth a thousand words, and people love to look at and share video. Why do you think YouTube sold for a billion dollars? If you don’t want traffic, do not use flickr, youtube, or other multi-media sharing service.

9. Whatever you do, do not reference blog posts that you had writer earlier. This would entice readers to go further into your blog and spend more time there. Why would you want that?

10. This one I had to think long and hard about. How do you get blacklisted from as many sites as possible, kicked off search engines and banned from the internet? One word….SPAM!!!

TAGS: spam, banned, rss, ugly, kicked off, no readers, bad blog, bookmark widgets, digg, anti-comments, popups, tricks, reference, readers, ugly blog, mybloglog, wordpress, blogger, stumble upon